I really wanted to write a blog post last night, but lack of sleep and a 1000 word theatre review required my attention instead. So now that I have an opportunity, or at least not caring about the work I got to do, I get to put my thoughts into world,
As some people know I had my heart crushed this past May, and it took me some time to realize I could move on, and to stop beating myself up. I was able to go basically 4 months without really thinking about what happened, until I had a random dream while in Montreal. The part the sucked the most was that there was no provocation for it. I randomly dreamt about the biggest event of my life over the past year, and was forced to face my feelings on the matter.
The dream brought up my feelings of insecurity, hatred, and confusion. While I am no longer as confused, or at least not caring to figure it out, I have now eliminated the other two aspects that have been plaguing my life the past 2 weeks. I suffered with my insecurities this past weekend and now know how to move forward in my life.
But for the hatred I felt towards this one person, it took a candlelight vigil to erase something I should never have had. Sure I was right at first to hate what they did to me. But 5 months later it's time to move on and be the bigger person.
So now I hold no hate in my heart for the person that once held it. I wish them all the happiness in the world and hope they stay strong through life. I still don't fully understand what happened, but maybe it's for the the better.
I've forgiven. Can you do the same?
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Songs Inspire These Blog Posts
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TeFalnBiEkk
Start off by listening to this song. I have no idea where you can get it except off of YouTube or from me, but it is worth having.
So I forget if I've mentioned it before, but I go to this thing on campus called Link. It's a group faith discovery discussion group that meets every Wednesday night. And it seems to me that every week I take something out of the song we listen to. This week's song Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars was the theme for the week, Today Your Life Begins.
During discussion one person brought up the point that this song makes it seem so easy to leave the past behind and move on. This isn't alright. It's definitely a great song, but completely forgetting the past is not the way to go about things. You need to embrace the good and bad of the past and learn from it and move on. Something I've been struggling with for 5 months (Some of you know why, and for those that don't, you don't want to).
Today IS a new day and so is everyday from here on out.
People need to learn that embracing this concept is the ideal way to go through life. Think of everyday as a fresh start. Don't forget your past, your worries, your faults, but EMBRACE them. This action will only strengthen you.
I feel like I'm preaching a practice that I myself don't follow, but not from lack of trying. I was able to move forward and embrace each day as a new one for approximately 4 months. Then a random dream this past weekend while I was in Montreal with my friends just flipped my life upside down. Luckily it was only 3 days of being thrown for a loop, before I went to Link and discovered that the topic was one that fit perfectly to my needs.
Time to get all religious on y'all. But to me it seemed like it was a sign from God that he is watching over me, and does care for me. About a month ago I needed a pep-talk from my good friend Adrianna, during which she read me the poem Footprints in the Sand by Mary Stevenson. In the poem a man dreams that he is walking along a beach with the Lord and he has visions of scenes of his life. In each there are footprints in the sand, sometimes two sets and sometimes one. The man gets bothered because the Lord always promised to walk with him and during the low periods of his life there is only one set of footprints. When the man questions the Lord, the Lord replies that "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you".
I felt like my experience on Wednesday proved that the Lord carries you during the low periods of your life. Life is a mystery, and when it knocks you down it takes the strength and support of those that care for you to help you move on.
But sometimes you need to do this on your own, and it is during these times that you learn the most and appreciate the end result the most.
I know from experience that it isn't easy, but everyday is a new day, so live each day like it's a new life. It's been said that we only live one life, but why not think of it as just one big life with tons of mini-lives in it?
On that note this long blog post concludes. Until next time..... (Which will probably be after next week's Link)
Start off by listening to this song. I have no idea where you can get it except off of YouTube or from me, but it is worth having.
So I forget if I've mentioned it before, but I go to this thing on campus called Link. It's a group faith discovery discussion group that meets every Wednesday night. And it seems to me that every week I take something out of the song we listen to. This week's song Today My Life Begins by Bruno Mars was the theme for the week, Today Your Life Begins.
During discussion one person brought up the point that this song makes it seem so easy to leave the past behind and move on. This isn't alright. It's definitely a great song, but completely forgetting the past is not the way to go about things. You need to embrace the good and bad of the past and learn from it and move on. Something I've been struggling with for 5 months (Some of you know why, and for those that don't, you don't want to).
Today IS a new day and so is everyday from here on out.
People need to learn that embracing this concept is the ideal way to go through life. Think of everyday as a fresh start. Don't forget your past, your worries, your faults, but EMBRACE them. This action will only strengthen you.
I feel like I'm preaching a practice that I myself don't follow, but not from lack of trying. I was able to move forward and embrace each day as a new one for approximately 4 months. Then a random dream this past weekend while I was in Montreal with my friends just flipped my life upside down. Luckily it was only 3 days of being thrown for a loop, before I went to Link and discovered that the topic was one that fit perfectly to my needs.
Time to get all religious on y'all. But to me it seemed like it was a sign from God that he is watching over me, and does care for me. About a month ago I needed a pep-talk from my good friend Adrianna, during which she read me the poem Footprints in the Sand by Mary Stevenson. In the poem a man dreams that he is walking along a beach with the Lord and he has visions of scenes of his life. In each there are footprints in the sand, sometimes two sets and sometimes one. The man gets bothered because the Lord always promised to walk with him and during the low periods of his life there is only one set of footprints. When the man questions the Lord, the Lord replies that "The times when you have seen only one set of footprints, is when I carried you".
I felt like my experience on Wednesday proved that the Lord carries you during the low periods of your life. Life is a mystery, and when it knocks you down it takes the strength and support of those that care for you to help you move on.
But sometimes you need to do this on your own, and it is during these times that you learn the most and appreciate the end result the most.
I know from experience that it isn't easy, but everyday is a new day, so live each day like it's a new life. It's been said that we only live one life, but why not think of it as just one big life with tons of mini-lives in it?
On that note this long blog post concludes. Until next time..... (Which will probably be after next week's Link)
Friday, October 8, 2010
Long Time
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTFD5DZwK7g Go to like the 2:15 mark. I had this song stuck in my head. And the long time part applies to me not posting in a long time.
Anyways, I've been meaning to write for a while now, but this is the first time I've taken to do so. And this week's topic is perception. Especially perception of self, and of your friends. This is something I have been struggling with for quite some time now. Basically since May. But after a few weeks it didn't become a big deal again until like 2 weeks ago. I don't know how I come across to people, but there is so much going on in my mind all the time, and a lot of the time it's doubt. Doubt about myself, friends, love, life, humanity, basically if you name it I doubt something about it.
Perception of self is something I've talked a lot about recently with one of my good friends. And he has made is quite clear it is all about liking yourself, and believing in yourself. If you do this, other people will notice and feel the same way about you. (Did I sum that up right?)
One of the other big things I've learned but can't make my brain believe is that people can care about you even if they suck at showing it.
Alright this feels like too much of a journal.diary entry. But basically it all comes down to liking oneself. If you can accomplish this, than everything else will fall in place.
It is the people that struggle with this daily that have the hardest time dealing. And while they might not outwardly show it, they are hurting inside and need people to help them carry on.
So my message to you today is to keep caring for other people, and keep caring for yourself. Because as shitty as life seems right now it will get better. It's all part of some ultimate plan. Or at least I deeply hope it is. Otherwise I've been dealt all the bad cards
Anyways, I've been meaning to write for a while now, but this is the first time I've taken to do so. And this week's topic is perception. Especially perception of self, and of your friends. This is something I have been struggling with for quite some time now. Basically since May. But after a few weeks it didn't become a big deal again until like 2 weeks ago. I don't know how I come across to people, but there is so much going on in my mind all the time, and a lot of the time it's doubt. Doubt about myself, friends, love, life, humanity, basically if you name it I doubt something about it.
Perception of self is something I've talked a lot about recently with one of my good friends. And he has made is quite clear it is all about liking yourself, and believing in yourself. If you do this, other people will notice and feel the same way about you. (Did I sum that up right?)
One of the other big things I've learned but can't make my brain believe is that people can care about you even if they suck at showing it.
Alright this feels like too much of a journal.diary entry. But basically it all comes down to liking oneself. If you can accomplish this, than everything else will fall in place.
It is the people that struggle with this daily that have the hardest time dealing. And while they might not outwardly show it, they are hurting inside and need people to help them carry on.
So my message to you today is to keep caring for other people, and keep caring for yourself. Because as shitty as life seems right now it will get better. It's all part of some ultimate plan. Or at least I deeply hope it is. Otherwise I've been dealt all the bad cards
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